In the words of The Simpsons, New Years is the day of paying for decisions you will forever regret. Whether this means paying $1000 for a cleaning crew to come take care of your living room after last night's party, or making a New Year's Resolution to metaphorically clean up the mess you've made on this planet, you just have to do SOMETHING. What I suggest:
- Hunt down the evil El Grincho (the real grinch,)
- Write a cookbook (the recipes I've created so far are for Mustard, Cookies, and French Toast.)
- Solarize your home (wind power works too,)
- Make all the kids in your semi-large city happy with faux snow (Californians, COME ON!!!
- Travel to all 7 continents (Antarctica is very possible! Boats travel out all the time:)
- Meet Snooki and ask her how on earth she gets her hair to poof like that
- Meet Oprah and praise her leadership academy
- Don't question the power of Oprah (she may have flaws, but did you build a school in Africa? Didn't think so.)
- Come up with a plan to improve your money system. (waiting. waiting. Sometimes this year, please! Oh, fine. I'll do it for you: Ahem. Step 1. Switch to debit cards. Step 2. stop buying ipods/dvds, and invest in a netflix account. Step 3. Pay off your debt. Step 4. Er, refer to Suze Orman for further info.
- Open a free, high-quality leadership academy in Tijuana. (but still don't gloat about Oprah:))
- Go to the San Francisco Cheese Academy, featured in O magazine. Yep, that's right. Or, if you're lactose-intolerant or whatever, visit anyways. The population is under 1 million, but I have a theory that if you included tourists in that number, on certain days it would reach 1 million.
- Join a chinchilla rescue. They're so cute and fluffy, but often abused:( Why not help a cute little creature?
Have a great New Year!!!